How did I already make it to my 7th year at Daxko? If you didn’t know, reaching the 7th year in Daxkoland is kind of a big deal because you get a one-month paid sabbatical. Looking back on my 7-year career, I’ve had so many “learning opportunities,” misadventures, and hilarious stories that need to be shared. That’s why I’m gifting you 7 of my wildest Daxko moments. I hope you enjoy reading about my failures and triumphs!
#7: The Time I Bought a Haunted Doll
When we moved to a new office and I was tasked with designing fun themes for our meeting rooms, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to create a haunted house-themed room we named “Spooky.” That’s when I found Annabelle – an antique, porcelain doll with alien-green eyes (that see straight through to your dark soul) and a chipped pinky finger. She sits in Spooky, haunting anyone who dares to enter. I often find her turned around, covered up, or banished from the room, because she’s a little unsettling for some; but I think it’s nice to have her looking out for me. Annabelle’s always got my back!
Just your average, everyday office decoration.
#6: The Time I Threw an Awkward Costume Party
One year, our CEO asked me to organize a fun, fall-themed event for our Team Members. I’m pretty sure he just wanted a tailgate party, but because I always learn the hard way, I thought I’d shake things up with an Oktoberfest party! In the month of November. At a seedy bar. During a football game. Needless to say, no one was jazzed about breaking out the lederhosen (Ompa!) or playing my reindeer games (German trivia, anyone?) at my “Novemberfest” party. Alanis is right – you live, you learn. Just give the people what they want – beer, football, and ‘merican clothes.
Testing, testing… is this thing on?
#5: The Time I Hired a Magician… For Adults!
You know how to magically make all the enthusiasm in a room disappear? Hire a magician for your party of adults! This is an example of me “thinking outside the box” for events (you’re welcome, Daxko). The “magnificent” magician I hired donned a cape and did those pull-a-quarter-out-of-your-ear type “magic” tricks. The party flopped like rabbit ears out of a magic hat.
#4: The Time I Danced Like No One Was Watching (But They Totally Were)
As a kid, I really wished I was one of the Fly Girls on In Living Color. This is probably why I accepted (without hesitation) a teammate’s request to be a backup dancer in his Daxko talent show act. Two words: Gangnam Style. Two more words: We lost. On the plus side, I finally perfected my Gangnam Style pony prance.
Always willing to shake my groove thang for Daxko.
#3: The Time I Became a Daxko Rap Star
Secret’s out – I’ve got some mad rhyming skills. I’m no Nicki Minaj, but I made Daxko pretty proud (or embarrassed) by writing a rap song called “It’s the DaxLife.” I also directed, produced, and stared in the music video. It’s off the chain. Or maybe just off. Check it out! It’s 3:20 minutes of your life you can never get back.
Watch out, Internet – we’re going viral!
#2: The Time I Came Out
There’s nothing quite like waiting 5 years into your new job to come out. In case you’re not following, I mean out of the big ole gay closet. Lesbi-honest – it was one of the hardest and most awkward things I’ve ever had to do (outside of everything mentioned in this post). If you’re ever struggling for the right words, I recommend saying nothing. Just post your lesbian wedding photo Christmas card (“Merry and married!”) on the company bulletin board for all to behold. In all seriousness, I’m glad to work in a place where I can be myself.
#1: The Time I Partied Like a Daxko Celeb in Costa Rica
Achievers Club is the top award at Daxko. It’s awarded annually to the top 10% of the company – folks who were nominated by peers for their exemplary accomplishments during that year. I was shocked (and I’m betting you are, too!) to learn I won the award for my work in 2014. As a result, I got to enjoy a very adventurous, all-expenses-paid vacation to Costa Rica where I drank lots of delicious coffee and encountered many, many chill iguanas.
First, I’d like to thank the Academy…